|YOU MIGHT BE A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE IF......
1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin saltlick.
2. You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to
work 8 to 3:30 and have summers free."
3.You can tell if it's a full moon without looking outside.
4. You believe “shallow gene pool" should have its own check
box on a report card.
5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone
says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at
children you do not know and correct their behavior.
7. You have no social life between August and June.
8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO easy.
9. You think people should be required to get a government permit
before being allowed to reproduce.
10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
11.You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as
12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools
or Home schooling.
13.You can't have children because there's no name you could give
a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard
14.You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I
have a great idea I'd like to discuss.” I think it would be such
16. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why
is this kid like this?"